Hello Darlings..
Ok, to start off with, this post is gonna be really personal because i'll share some of my personal, embarrasing experiences as well as some difficult ones with all of you my dear readers. I am sure most of you who didn't know me back then, wouldn't know what i've gone through..
Well, growing up was not that fun for me (because i was
overweight, fugly and had really bad
breakouts), i always wished that i could do something about my appearance... People would look at me and say "You and your sis do not look like you are sisters.."..and i know what they meant was " Hey why your sis is soo HOT,and you're NOT?"
I did not have even a tiny bit of sense of style back then (not that i do now), where big T-shirts and jeans were my best friends.. High heels?? had my 1st pair when i was about 15 or 17, and it was a very cikai one.. LOL..
You won't believe me if i told you that my weight was about 75-80 kgs, 6-7 years ago...O.O
For most of you who are wondering how tall i am, the last time i measured, i was 165cm..Yes i was still on the heavy side, even with that height..
Ok don't ask for old pictures because i used to
HATE cameras!! can u believe a camwhore like me can say something like that?! some of you will think i have Bipolar disorder or what not..LOL.. I didn't just hate cameras, i hated my body, my big fat arms, thighs, and everything about me.. and mirrors too..
And now, looking back, i think it is really
unhealthy to hate yourself so much.. How can you look good, if you don't think you are beautiful? Your face will be all grumpy and your self-confidence will also be affected, and it will show by the way you talk, or even by the way you bring yourself among the crowd. If you feel that you are a bit lacking in a certain area, try to sit back, relax and really look deep down inside of you, and search for other good qualities or capabilities that you have but you are not aware of.
What made me feel better about myself was, even when i feel like i am the fugliest creature on the planet, there were
some men LOL
SOME ok ( i always thought they were half-blind or maybe just like Jack Black in
SHALLOW HAL), loved me despite my looks.. okay maybe "cinta monyet". But they told me i was
SPECIAL **stardusts falling** ( i hope they meant what they said)..hahaha ( macam cerita Forest Gump "My momma told me i am special" eh betul ka line ni?) ok it doesn't matter..
What matters most is.
.You have to love yourself before you want anybody else to love you...
Okay so...back to my weight issue..i was diagnosed with an ovarian cyst when i was studying in Russia. My late mama was so worried about me, she got me transferred back to Malaysia. I'm glad i returned home, coz if didn't, i won't be able to spend the precious time left with her (she was diagnosed to have Lung Cancer at the age of 45, end of 2007 and passed away on September 2008.. Al-Fatihah) and that would be my biggest regret in life! I came back after my 1st year final exam in Russia (Volgograd State Medical University), and that was back in 2005..
That's when i figured out that my weight issue was mainly related to my hormone. After i got the cyst removed, my weight started to drop slowly (with the help of healthy diet&lifestyle). In 2006, i got the same symptoms and found out i had a 2nd cyst, on my other ovary.. sigh...got that removed too and my weight started to go down the hill quite drastically..
And that was the story behind my weight loss programme.. hihihi... of course, i started to watch out my diet, i only drink plain water and green tea, i stopped eating fast foods, and started to count my calorie intake. No more canned drinks, less rice and other forms of carbs, lots and lots of fruits and vegetables..
And because i
love all of you readers and followers so much, i decided to put some of my
"NEVER EVER REALEASED" old photos *cough*... Heyyy!! even my Hubby didn't get to see these... You guys better LOVE me back! LOL.. Of course there won't be full photos of me when i was fairly BIG because i don't like people snapping and taking pictures of my full figure.. but the upper 1/3rd of my body can tell you that already right?
